My Friend, Peggy…..A Grace-Filled Life

Today, I am sharing with you an update on my friend, Peggy, first in Peggy’s words and then in a blog written by one of Peggy’s other friends:  

It’s way past time I updated my page. When last I updated, I was choosing to continue on a drug called Yondelis, though it was causing problems with my liver. But after another round, my liver numbers continued a dangerous climb and I was taken off the drug. 

We knew what that meant. No more chemo. No more drugs. No more putting purposeful toxins in my body. Oh did I mention? No more controlling the cancer. Tumors on the liver continue to grow. Doctors say I have two to six months. So what does that change? Does it change God’s plan for me? Is God taken by surprise? Of course not. I know I’m still in God’s hands. I’ve always known my days were numbered. I may be finding out that final number is coming soon. I recently read this passage. 

Psalms 39:4 – 7
“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”
Interlude
6 We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth,
not knowing who will spend it.
7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
My only hope is in you.

How’s that for an ending. My only hope is in you! 

In our last meeting with our doctor, we discussed hospice. We discussed advanced directives. And we discussed keeping me comfortable. The thing making me most uncomfortable was a large tumor on my arm that has been growing rapidly. Our doctor thought it would be major surgery and that we should wait until it was absolutely necessary. He really felt it may involve complete amputation of the arm, so you may know I was in no hurry to push it. But it got bigger and uglier and last week it pushed through the skin and started bleeding heavily. Dave would bandage it but the bandage was bulky and as soon as it came off it would bleed like crazy. So we went back to the doctor. It was time. He called in a surgeon and we really liked the surgeon. He was committed to do anything he could to save my arm. Surgery was on the 20th. I don’t remember this part, but the doctor said when I first woke up in recovery, I looked over at my arm and smiled. It was good to know my “friend” was still there. I face some challenges in my recovery, but it feels so good to have the tumor gone, and have my arm not gone. A tumor in my right hip is starting to cause some discomfort. It’s possible that some radiation might help control that pain. So after I recover from this, we may visit our radiation oncologist. Of course, these are just things to make my days comfortable. There is nothing that can be done with what is happening on my liver. Funny. The tumor that is killing me doesn’t hurt and the tumors that hurt aren’t the ones killing me. 

We owe a ton of people a billion thanks for so many acts of kindness done for us during these days. From meals to house cleaning to washing my windows, to financial gifts to ease some of our extra burdens, and many more things, we appreciate all the acts of service and gifts of kindness that have encouraged us through these days. 

Recently, Peg spoke in front of about 125 women at a Bible Study here, and following her message, one of Calvary’s resident authors wrote a beautiful blog in her honor. Here is a link that will get you there. http://www.joydekok.com/wordpress/2008/11/07/a-grace-filled-life

A Grace-filled Life

Joy on 07 Nov 2008

Today at Bible Study, my friend Peg shared the next stage in her earthly journey. Peg has battled cancer for 11 years and without a miracle she is entering her last phase of this life. It took a lot of courage for her to stand in front of over 100 women who love her. We sniffed out loud as she spoke. Our Peg has a lot of courage.

The thing that gets to me about Peg is her grace-filled life. She’s not perfect…but grace isn’t about us being perfect because Jesus already is. She spreads that grace around everywhere she goes. Bald and sick my friend sparkles. I sometimes wonder if it’s because she’s down to what matters most in life. Him. The love of her life. Jesus. Faith is not religion with Peg…it’s real life living. Jesus shines from her all over anyone standing in her sight.Then there’s the way she loves us…the way Jesus loves her. You gotta love that about a friend. A friend who knows I’m not perfect and loves me anyway. A friend who lavishes me with grace I don’t always deserve. She stands close to the Grace-giver – in fact I can say with great confidence…she is constantly in His presence and as He fills up her cup she splashes the abundance on us.

So what does a grace-filled life look like? A lot like Jesus when He walked this earth. I mean think of it…the baby born in the manger also hung on the cross…and asked God to forgive those who beat Him bloody, mocked Him, and then…killed Him. Not one of them deserved His favor but He gave it anyway. Really. He PRAYED for them. How many of us would do that or would we be more likely to curse them?

Peg lives like Jesus died…and you know what is absolutely amazing? In this grace-filled living my friend is free. I’m not talking about the kind of liberty we enjoy here in America. I mean the kind that shows she is free in every nook and cranny of her heart. She lives in total forgiveness and this leads to the freedom that is eternal and not based on a political party or a vote (although I so appreciate our freedoms and rights in this country!). She is free from regret, anger, malice, manipulation, or any other thing we humans can throw at each other. She knows the favor/merit/salvation she received from Jesus Christ is undeserved. She gave up on thinking she “deserved” anything long ago. In fact, she counts her suffering as a privilege – man…I am so not there!

And, she is forgiving. When I make a mistake, she isn’t quick to correct me…but she has this wonderful smile…that’s what she gives me knowing the Holy Spirit will be leading me to right behavior and until then, I’m okay with her!

We’re both ragamuffins…saved by a ragamuffin Gospel. (Check out author Brennan Manning and you’ll see what I mean)

Even though my friend’s illness is weakening her body…Peg is one powerful woman. You can feel it when she sits next to you and sometimes after a hug I feel like a tiny bit is transferred from her to me somehow. Her power is not of this world.

This time of farewell is the hardest thing her family may ever face and although her destination is heaven, she is glad for every day she can be with her precious ones. She told us today she lives in the now with her hands wide open. We knew that. We are eyewitnesses to this most wonderful woman and her grace-filled life.   While her life here may be winding down…it is not ending. Because she has accepted the Grace-gift of God, Jesus Christ, she is going to live forever…but it’s even more than that…she’s going to live in the presence of her Grace-giver while we wait to join her.  When that day arrives, we will mourn but I think it will be tinged with wonder…I will wonder…what is Peg up to with Jesus today? I’ll have no idea but I know it will be good. I know there are 4 things I will feel: 

 

-I will grieve for her family

-I will be homesick for my friend

-I will be glad for my friend

-I will be glad for Jesus…His good friend will be with Him… I know she is delighting Him here so how much more will He enjoy her there?! Peg…I love you so much my grace-filled sparkling for Jesus friend!